I’m never happy lately. I’m sure that it’s school, but there’s still nothing else I can do. Really, though the only time I truly feel happy is when your holding me, and I hate that I feel so dependent upon that one thing just to get me by. I feel like I’m obnoxious, and I hate it.

Heading to City Creek today, my mom was talking to me about how she has to talk to my doctor, because she think I might have mono again, granted, it never leaves, but it doesn’t always force the symptoms upon you. And, it has been lately. Hard. So I’m not excited to get 37493629 gallons of blood drawn through on me, but she also said that I might be able to go to the clinic that my sister works at, to test, and that would be cool, ‘cause then my sister would be my phlebotomist, and I trust her with a needle to my vein, to say the least.

Then she was also saying how she needs to talk to my Therapist, because something I said a while back was a strong indication at being schizophrenic; which she is, as is my sister. So it is a very big possibility, and I’m just like, if that is true, that would just be the cherry on top of my life; god knows I need to be on even more medication.

Some nights, I have this extremely bad anxiety; and I feel sick in my stomach, and all I can think about is you, and how much I wish you were holding me when I’m like this.

Tue, 22nd May — 0 notes