I don’t think I could ever put into words how much I miss dancing. Dancing is what I did to not feel empty, to feel like a normal fucking person, to not hate myself so much. Now I have no way to get rid of these feelings. No way to con myself into believing I’m normal, and I’m not a complete fuck up. No way to make myself feel whole anymore.
I don’t know what to do anymore. Everyday this gets a little more painful, and the hole in my heart grows a little more.
I’m slowly rebuilding my happiness. Very slowly, but it’s happening. And everything is okay. And that is a big sentence for me to say and actually mean it.